I'm trying so hard.

Refusing to be sad is one of the hardest things ever.. I feel like a failure when I can't get happy again.. I was doing so well and then I had a really down day, but I sprung back the next day.. Lately this hasn't been happening.. I have felt awful for the past couple days and I just can't get back to where I Was. I don't know what to do. I was on the phone with mom for a half hour last night bawling my eyes out for a stupid reason and I took her advice on how to shake off the bad feelings. It helped me stop crying, but I still feel awful today. I have to convince myself not to cry right now, and I just don't know what to do. I hate feeling like this. It's so hard to try to be happy.. 

I have to go to work in about an hour and a half, and I can't stop crying.. I don't like this. I'm so frustrated.. And the worse part is.. I don't even know what I'm frustrated about..